Nemo Me Impune Lacessit

Monday, 10 February 2020

Who’s up for Beyond Veggies?

Filed under: Humor, Life — Tags: , — mikewb1971 @ 11:37 PM (23:37)

Sunday afternoon, I picked up burger at Carl’s Jr, and noticed that they’re making a significant push in marketing their plant-based “Beyond Burger.” [1]

Same goes for Burger King and their “Impossible Burger.” [1]

Speaking for myself, I’m up for some Beyond Broccoli

Have a craving for a food with the disgusting taste and texture of broccoli but the nutritional value of bacon? Well say hello to Beyond Broccoli, the only vegetable made from 100% real pork!

“Every one of our pigs is fed a diet consisting entirely of wholesome, organic broccoli,” said company spokesman Brad Weimaraner. “So each bite of its flesh tastes like a crisp, delicious floret picked fresh from the vine, or whatever it is that broccoli grows on.”

Weimaraner says Beyond Broccoli is currently available in bacon, pork chop, and ham varieties. But they’re considering adding kielbasa and Canadian bacon options to break into the international market.

I’m sure that any residents of the Alpha Lyrae system wouldn’t appreciate the screechy asswipes who have co-opted the name “vegan.”

What I’d really like to see is Beyond Asparagus, Beyond Cauliflower, and most especially Beyond Brussel Sprouts.




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